Of letting go of the defense, doubting my abilities, and pressing the flesh.

  1. She talks in both nightmares. Usually I’m anxious for my moment to bolt out the door, back to the warmth of my own bed, but she dismisses me before I’m ready to stop stroking her hair in the darkness. The fear and loss were too clear in such an innocent voice.
  2. The need to be understood wrestles with the desire to compassionately receive what transpires in silence.
  3. Half-caf.
  4. I am underdressed by at least a third. Sit down, Summer, no one said you could be excused.
  5. From rehearsing my defense to asking, “How can I show the most love here?” in three songs or less.
  6. “God is not something to be explained; he’s someone to be experienced.”
  7. Representationally skewed.
  8. A moment of panic. What am I committing to? I’ll actually have to do something, now, not just plan it. Will I? Can I?
  9. Stern words at bedtime, but thankfully nothing else.
  10. I press the softness around my middle as I change into my pajamas, missing the gym, keenly aware of how poorly I’ve fed this marvelous creature lately, toying with the idea of tracking again. Perhaps the most dangerous time wasn’t last August when I began the journey but here, now when I think I’ve arrived.

Author: Ellie

Uppity stardust. Will eat (almost) anything.

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