Noticing.SixtyNine

Of a moment I don’t want to leave, extended introvert overload, and gratitude as groceries.

  1. I throw my anxieties into the pool one by one and watch them dissolve into nothingness as we sit side by side with our feet in the hot spring water. I wonder if this place existed before today. Where are my notes.
  2. Playing catch-up.
  3. Am I rehearsing darkness or expressing truth?
  4. At some point I realize my seething is because my introvert circuits are redlining. There hasn’t been enough recharge time between outpourings.
  5. Defiance. Rebellion. Disobedience. Must be a day ending in Y.
  6. He can tell I’m boiling just under. I can tell he’s not sure what to make of the long litany of thoughts, feelings, and logistics I pour out when he presses for what’s wrong.
  7. She always looks right through me. I wish I had time to explain all the things I know she sees.
  8. Today, gratitude looks like ten pounds of potatoes, a gallon bag of cheese, three pounds of crudites, and a meal’s worth of taco meat.
  9. It feels like going backwards. Like we’re losing ground. Where is the line between striving and sense?
  10. Tomorrow is a new day.

Author: Ellie

Uppity stardust. Will eat (almost) anything.

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