Of saying yes to the dress, being given what I didn’t ask for, and why I don’t babysit.

  1. I make the 5am wakeup.
  2. Petrichor.
  3. I rage against the situation, the behavior, the outcome–but not him. This is not who you are.
  4. We pay and head to our next errand. I barely make it out of the store before I have to lean against the wall or else sag under the weight of guilt and a dozen internal accusations and fabricated regrets.
  5. It’s always one more thing.
  6. Are they still angel investors if they’re family?
  7. Another bowl of pasta, another night of hands that feel swollen but aren’t, with a bonus impending migraine. I’m starting to suspect I’m getting old.
  8. Calculate. Recalculate. Nothing in the numbers can change the way the flesh sits on my bones. On my soul.
  9. I feel strangely validated by how badly it went.
  10. One week.

Author: Ellie

Uppity stardust. Will eat (almost) anything.

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