1. No, body. You’re not in charge.
  2. Every step of the day is begrudging. I coax myself through school, chores, dinner, work, my spirit tugging my soul along behind it. Just a little further.
  3. How easily I surrendered the peace I ran to receive.
  4. But when they ask how it’s going, I tell them the truth with a smile. A real one. One that doesn’t match the words I’m saying but surely comes from somewhere.
  5. I add a second curtain rod, cover her window, and pray.
  6. Her sensors pick up everything I feel. I spend a large portion of my day getting on my knees, down on her level, to hold her and help her say how she feels. Neither of us is really sure.
  7. The fear in his voice presses exactly the right(wrong) spot in my heart. I want to rush to his side, but the bitter truth is that I wouldn’t know what to do when I got there.
  8. Tomorrow is a day off–which means work. There’s so much I need to do, so much I could do, in that 7 hours, but I don’t know where to start.
  9. Ideas.
  10. Oh, heating pad. You understand.

Author: Ellie

Uppity stardust. Will eat (almost) anything.

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