Noticing. Eighteen

Of financial uncertainty, a potty mishap, and the exhausting joy of reconnection.

  1. The best part of waking up.
  2. There’s a tremor in my fingers as I write the numbers, a flutter just under my ribs as the penciled-in truth hits home. But he is greater.
  3. Drawing lines between burning boats and resume pieces.
  4. Annoyed that I feel the need to qualify every tease of something big/new/cool with “I’m not pregnant.” Une femme d’un certain ├óge.
  5. I simply cannot today with all this.
  6. [entry redacted to protect the innocent–suffice to say there was a lot of screaming]
  7. I have a twinge of guilt serving three different dinners. A disembodied voice says, “Back in my day, everyone ate the same thing and if you complained you went without!” Who is that?
  8. I have 40% of a voice and feel like lukewarm garbage, but I’ll be damned if I reschedule this.
  9. Thirty minutes turns into three hours. There’s a barely-perceptible veneer of awkwardness after two years’ silence, but we run the gamut just like old times. I go to bed with a full heart.
  10. Or rather, I go to bed after I eat a giant cookie and then floss. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.

Author: Ellie

Uppity stardust. Will eat (almost) anything.

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